Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Be True to Yourself

What a concept. I wonder why I'm sometimes not "true to myself." I'm going to work on that. I've been having some difficulties at work, some people not "liking" me... which is hard, because throughout my life, people have generally "liked" me. I don't like conflict, so I generally avoid all potential episodes of conflict and just stay quiet. But why? Maybe I should just say the thoughts that are rummaging around in my brain and forget the fall-out effect. I suppose that wouldn't be true to myself either, because it's not in me to blurt out thoughts and feelings if they might upset someone. So what do I mean, personally, about being true to myself? It means that I can say "no." It means that I can't do anything about what people think or feel about me, and if it's an unflattering appraisal, or simply untrue, which seems to be happening here at work, there isn't anything I need to do about it; it's their problem. I've always been the "middle child." I want to smooth things over, make everyone happy and have everyone like me. Some people just aren't going to accept it, and I need to just go on and not worry about it or obsess about it like I have been the last 24 hours. I don't have to be their friend. They can pretend I don't exist and walk by me with eyes averted and I don't need to try to change the situation. Be true to myself. I love fruit. Why don't I eat more of it? I love walking, why am I not doing it more often? I love being outdoors... why am I spending too much time on the couch in front of the TV? I love being in God's Word, why am I neglecting that sometimes? I'm rambling. Forgive me. See... there I go again.

4 comments:

Crystal said...

I think sometimes having a conversation can let the elephant out of the room. And sometimes you can even end up being friends afterwards (the only girl I ever physically hit became my best friend shortly thereafter, go figure).

And you have shared a lot of wisdom with me over the years by being honest and forthright with me (even if it was hard for me to hear).

Oh and I need to eat more fruit too. Love you. xo

Christy said...

I love fruit and walks and the word and I LOVE you friend. Thanks for the honest post. I am the first born so I am bossy and often say what I think. God has grown me in that and softened my heart but the other day a good friend asked me to be honest about something she was doing and I very gently and lovingly (not in a bossy way at all) told her the truth and she punished me for it by the way she treated me afterwards. I have been really hurt since then because it made me wonder where "it" all fits. My personality I mean. I am open and honest and transparent and am finding alot of people don't want to hear or see or feel the truth. The people who love me for that though REALLY love me so I guess it all balances out. :)

Eileen said...

Christy... grow, but never change. Sounds like someone asked for your advice, and you were honest. Their issue, not yours. Love you too.

Less Bark. More Wag. said...

I think you know how I feel about this. People who will dislike you because you are amazing are just not worth stressing over! Can you change the way you think about it? Maybe think about it as Kylah's grandma? What advice would you give her if she were in your place? We want to be proud, strong, happy grandmommies, regardless of the haters! Sending you hugs, sugar!